Midnight Luxe

The Midnight Luxe bikini looks as dangerous as a stingray and is probably as expensive. It’s a two-piece item designed to make you the center of attention in a crowded beach setting, although the barman might not let you into the beach bar. If you are under thirty-five and well above eighteen, you could get away with it. The chain accents on the sides of the high-cut bottoms will dig in to remind you of your investment. The bikini top is designed with a keyhole at the center, which is where everyone will be looking. The overall effect is of a garment that could be used to audition for a role in a revival of *The Ice Pirates*. There is at least one person on every beach who could wear it well, and the way things are going, you are probably that person. The main thing is not to laugh when you look in the mirror.