Netting Bliss

The bikini, if a bikini it is, must be a bikini, because the word “bikini” is in the product description, where it is mentioned twice, which is once more than is strictly necessary in a civilised world. But what a bikini! It is, in the description, “Netting Bliss,” which is also twice as often as it need be mentioned, but never mind: the bikini is a triumph of netting, which is blissful because it allows a glimpse of what is underneath, while actually covering it up. It is a paradox of beach fashion that the less there is of it, the more there is of it. But the bikini, in a netted texture, cunningly exploits this paradox. The bikini top, which is part of a two-piece set, has a triangle shape that is classic, whereas the bikini bottom, also part of the two-piece set, is not only a mirror image of the bikini top but also has ties at the sides, so that it can be tied at the sides. The fabric is a blend of polyester and elastane, in the proportion of 82% to 18%, a division of quantities that is so basic that it is hard to imagine how any other division could have been achieved. The bikini is highly stretchy, which is a good thing, because a bikini that did not stretch would be a bikini that broke. The bikini should be washed by hand, an operation that is not as easy as it sounds, especially when you are lying on the beach, but never mind: the bikini is imported, so it is a stranger to these shores. The bikini is a solid colour, which means that it is not a liquid colour, and also that it is not a gas. The bikini is suitable for tropical and beach settings, which is appropriate, because a bikini that was not suitable for tropical and beach settings would not be a bikini. The bikini has a style, and the style is tropical and beach, which is the sort of thing that style often is. The bikini is not underwired, which is a good thing, because an underwired bikini would be a bra. The bikini has a chest pad, but the pad can be removed, so that the bikini can be washed by hand more easily. The bikini has a snug fit, but it is still comfortable, so that you can wear it all day long, especially if you are a woman. The bikini is a product, and the product is a bikini. So why not buy one?